Two Beautiful Words & A Random Act of Kindness

This morning, we went to see the surgeon, hoping for good news. I wanted him to say the cancer was gone, my husband was going to be okay and the worst was over. I wanted that more than anything.

I held my husband's hand as his surgeon removed the staples along his incision. It was a foot long, so it took a couple minutes. It stung a bit, but it was worth it because at the end of it all, we heard the words we were longing to hear:

CANCER FREE

(There are no more beautiful words in the English language.)

He will have to have a blood test and a special scan in 6 months to make sure he's still cancer free. He'll be followed closely for the rest of his life. We can live with this-in fact I find this comforting because kidney cancer has no symptoms and usually by the time they discover it, it's already too late. We came very close to not having a happy ending, so vigilance is good.

When we walked out of the surgeon's office, my husband said he wanted to go out for lunch at Red Robin. I said okay-he deserved to celebrate. He'd earned it.

When we sat down in the restaurant, our server, Ashley came to say hello and asked us how we were. He told her we were celebrating his being cancer free and explained a bit about what he'd been through. She took our order. A few minutes later, she returned with Marlaina, the manager. Marlaina told us she'd lost her step dad to cancer and she was very happy to hear our news and that lunch was on the house. We were stunned. I immediately got teary. We've been through so much in the last 2 1/2 months and it was such a sweet, unexpected kindness from a stranger. It meant more to us than she could ever know.

Bad things happen, it's part of life but in the midst of that, very good things happen too. It reminded me of this Native American prayer:

Give thanks for unknown blessing, already on their way.

We are so very grateful.

Home Again

Wednesday morning was quite intense. It's no easy thing sending someone you love so very much off to have a major organ removed. I was working really hard not to let my mind go to dark places. Fortunately, my best friend was with me the entire time, which made things so much better. The surgeon is very happy with the surgery and my husband came through just fine. I am extremely grateful.

He's recovering slowly, but surely and his incision, which is epic (a foot long) is healing nicely. He's was in a fair bit of pain in the beginning, but with good pain meds, it was manageable. He was also dealing with nausea any time he got upright, but they also gave him meds for that.

Indy was completely baffled as to where his dad was. Every day at 4 pm, he held a vigil at the window, expecting him to come home from work. When he didn't return, he resorted to lying so he could stare at the back door. It was sweet, but kind of sad, really. Thursday night he must have been lonely because at 2 am, he came into my room and asked for permission to come up on the bed. He curled up at my feet. I didn't mind. The house was far too quiet for both of us.

Surprisingly, good dogs who are well behaved and quiet can visit at our hospital, so on Thursday, I surprised my husband by bringing him with me. At first he though I'd snuck Indy in. (He had no idea where  his room was in the hospital or he would have realized that was impossible.) Indy was so happy to see him and anyone who crossed our path wanted to meet my sweet boy. Indy got to visit twice.

My husband came home yesterday, but not before he was kicked out of his room and into the hallway for a night. I won't even comment on that because I have nothing polite to say about it. Neither of us was impressed. He'll get his staples out in about a week and we'll find out what the scoop is. His pain level is improving, which is good.

Meanwhile, we're dealing with the stress of applying for medical Employment Insurance. Normally when you apply, there's the mandatory 2 week waiting period. On Friday when I delivered the last of the paperwork, I was informed that there's a 4 week processing backlog. This means 6 weeks without a single pay cheque. I honestly do not know how our government can get away with this. I am angry and frustrated. I think anyone who is facing a catastrophic illness should not have to wait 2 weeks, never mind 6! How do they expect people to survive? It's the kind of stress we do not need right now, on top of everything else.

I think the stress of the past week has caught up with me. I am not feeling very good-I think I'm coming down with something. I'm trying to rest as much as possible.

Thank you to everyone who has showered us with prayers, positive vibes and good wishes via email or phone or who stopped by the hospital to visit. The love and support has been very much appreciated. 

The High Watch

Healing Buddha

Taking a deep breath here today as our family prepares for my husband's surgery tomorrow morning. We are holding positive energy for his surgeon and care team as they work to heal him completely from cancer. We are envisioning a smooth recovery and optimal pain management. If you feel moved to, please join us in manifesting a positive outcome for everyone involved, by whatever devotion you practice. We'd really appreciate it.

I'll be away from my blog for the next few days. I'm holding the high watch.

The Village

So about this time last year, my friend Lisa Ryder and I decided to make some small collaged houses, colour copy the originals onto cardstock and send them to one another. The other day, she showed me a photo of her wee houses beautifully framed. This was our plan, but somehow I hadn't managed to get it done. Seeing hers completed inspired me to hop in the car, zoom down to Ikea and get a frame. 

I started using Ribba frames about 5 years ago because I like how thick and chunky they are-almost like a shadow box and if you use the same type of frames for everything, when you hang it, it will look like a gallery, even if the artwork in each one is very different.

I spent about two hours last night framing mine. It took awhile for me to get the houses laid out "just so". I managed to create a combination of both our work that I think looks great together. I'm really pleased with how it turned out. The only thing is that I need to go back to Ikea for a second frame-I still have enough of our houses left to create another subdivision! (Lisa said the same thing.) She's going to post about our collaboration here later this morning. (She's in New Zealand, so it's not quite breakfast time tomorrow morning for her yet.)

Seeing as I was already shopping for frames, I picked up a couple other sizes to frame other pieces that I've been hanging onto for ages. I bought this sewing pattern crow printed on fabric years ago at Artfibrefest. It's by Carla Sonheim. It's been floating around the studio forever. I love how it looks in the frame.

I also had this pretty owl print by Cori Dantini that I bought 3 years ago. It's the same artist whose work became (with her permission) a tattoo. I have the bird print of the artwork that I had tattooed on my leg, which *ahem* also needs a frame. Yes, I'm going to have to make another trip to Ikea!

And finally, I framed this print of my own work, Diamond In the Rough. My goal is to print all my favourite photographs from the classes I've taken and do a gallery wall in the living room. My plan is to print them all different sizes, so it's interesting. I think that's going on my to-do list for 2013.

 I still have more artwork kicking around the studio that needs framing. Now that I've got a few favourite pieces finished, maybe I will be better about making the effort to get frames. I just need to figure out where I want to hang these pieces. While we're out and about today I'd better pick up some nails!

Thank you to everyone who sent their well wishes for our Anniversary yesterday. My husband worked a half day, we had some errands to run and the weather was ugly. Today it's sunny, so we're going to celebrate by taking Indy for a swim, having lunch together and just enjoying each other's company.

Also thank you for your good thoughts and prayers for us. It's so comforting to know so many people care and are supporting us. We really do feel the love. We have THE BEST friends on the planet and for that we are grateful.

xox

In Good Times & In Bad

I don't usually share really personal things on my blog, but this is a pretty big deal in my life right now.

 Today, my husband and I are celebrating 22 years of being happily married. This year's anniversary is especially poignant because just 7 weeks ago, we were blindsided by his diagnosis of kidney cancer. It was caught pretty much by accident during a routine yearly blood test which came back every so slightly off and required follow up testing. We never thought it was anything serious, so getting that news was (to say the least) a complete shock, that left us reeling.

We were quickly swept up into a frenzy of additional tests and appointments, which revealed a sizable tumor. The upshot of it all is that in less than three weeks, my husband will undergo surgery to remove his left kidney and will be off work for at least 6 weeks. Kidney cancer is rare. It's also very sneaky-usually there are no symptoms and by the time they find it, it's spread. In my husband's case, they believe he's had cancer for at least 3 years.

It's pretty sobering to face the uncertainty of the fate of someone you love so much. In fact, it's terrifying. I've felt like all the air has been sucked out of my lungs. Fortunately, we have dear friends who have circled their wagons for us. Their support means everything. As scary as this is, I know they've got our backs and that's immensely comforting.

We've been joking that we believe we got this "in sickness and in health" thing down pat. We'd like to NOT have to revisit to the whole concept any further- we've been there, done that, got the t-shirt, thank you very much.

Twenty-two years together will stand us good stead. We've been through bad times and survived. We will rise above. Together.

Happy Anniversary to my love. 

I am grateful for every single second of our lives together.

Forever & always.

xox