A Gift For You!

 I've had so much fun creating images for Wading In and Light Hunters and I thought it would be fun to share some of them with my loyal readers (that's YOU!) by creating some Desktop Wallpapers from them. I know we're a little over half way through August, but the bandannas were just begging to be used.

My husband has a ton of these and he wears them under his hardhat during the summer months, draped over his head so his neck doesn't burn. (Think Foreign Legion hat style.) I snapped this shot one day when he'd washed a bunch of them and hung them out on the line to dry. They looked so pretty flapping in the breeze-kind of like little prayer flags. I think there's just something so oddly charming about laundry on the line in the summer time.

Being Canadian, I have a soft spot for our national symbol, the maple leaf. When I saw this one lying on the forest floor, I couldn't resist. I love the texture and contrast that were captured in this image. There's a beauty in simplicity.

To add these to your desktop, click on the image to get the full size, then right click and choose "set as background" et voila!

I've signed up for Vivienne's next installment of photographic goodness, Swan Dive, which begins on September 6th. I am really excited about shooting in Autumn. I've waited all year for this, my favourite season. It's only a few weeks away and I can't wait till it feels like the season has "flipped the switch" and the weather changes.

I love the wind stirring the trees, the leaves fluttering down and crunching underfoot, the clean, crisp air, the harvest. It's cozy sweaters and jeans and hiking boots. It's celebrating birthdays, Thanksgiving, our wedding anniversary and Hallowe'en. I hold my breath during the summer. (I loathe it, truth be told. Yeah, I know I'm probably going to catch some flack for admitting that, but it's true.) In Autumn, I breathe deep. Everything about Autumn makes me feel joyful and alive.

I am *so* ready. Bring it on!

iLike: Shoes & Books

I did something this morning I usually only do every 10 years or so: I went shoe shopping! Actually, I looked up retailers of my favourite shoes and then phoned around till I found a single store that had a pair in stock. I could have ordered them online, but I wanted them NOW.

I already own a pair that are similar, (see above) but they are clogs. It was way past time for a new pair, so I went with the Mary Jane style instead. I wanted a red pair, but no one had any. I have to say I do like the leaf green and bark brown colour combo-it's very West Coast. They will be restocking in the fall, so I've decided to call ahead and reserve a pair in red then. This brand is rather spendy, but in their defense, they are comfortable, stylish and last forever. I adore the swirl stitching on the toes. New shoes are very happy-making.

The latter half of my week was...well let's just say challenging, medically speaking. (I am classically understating things.) I decided that I needed to treat myself to a book I'd borrowed from the library and fallen in love with-Expressive Photography by the Shutter Sisters. I already own a copy of Liz Lamoreaux's Inner Excavations, which is so thoughtful about the process of using your art and photography to tell your story and this book seems like a perfect compliment to it. 

Expressive Photography is full of utterly inspiring images and instruction about some of the more technical aspects of, as they put it "shooting from the heart". The best part is that the information is presented in an entirely accessible way-you can be a rank beginner (like me!) and understand how to use what they are sharing to your best advantage.

I can't tell you how exciting it is for me to have this new medium to explore. I feel that between Vivienne's classes that I've taken so far (Wading In and Light Hunters) and these amazing books, I am learning something new every day. For me, it's all about the learning. It's the part that keeps me engaged. I want to learn what's next and what comes after that and then what.

 At heart, I am an adventurer, a risk taker and deep down I serve the insatiable hunger to connect authentically with others and to tell my story.
I think that's what good photography (and art and writing) is; it's finding a way to connect to the best parts of yourself and to put that uniquely beautiful part of your soul out into the world. Our gifts are meaningless unless we have the courage to share them.

In reading back this post, I am sitting here chuckling at myself-how I went from tales of new shoes to introspection is beyond me. I don't think the words-they just tumble out. Anyway, that's what I was moved to share with you today. What's next is anyone's guess.

***

EDIT: I am getting a flood of email asking for the info for my shoes. Here's the scoop: They are made by El Naturalista. The style I bought today is Iggdrasil NO95. The clogs are also Iggdrasil, but have a different number- I don't know offhand what it is, but it's on their site. If you're outside Canada, this is the link for you. By the way, you may want to check out their code of conduct-I don't know about you, but this kind of stuff matters to me!

Light Hunters & Photography

 I've been busy the last few days viewing the world through the lense of my Rebel. Light Hunters began on Canada Day, which was great because I was out and about the entire day with no shortage of things to shoot.

The image above was one of the first I shared with our class. It's simple, but I like the way the light plays off the clouds.

I shot this one on Canada Day as well, but couldn't resist playing with it.



I'm still enjoying shooting self-portraits ala Wading In. This is from yesterday, after I had my hair cut. I keep shooting photos of myself because I find it engaging to keep exploring what I am capable of and to see what else I can learn about who I am. It seems like an odd paradox that in focusing on what's on the outside, I am afforded glimpses of what's on the inside.

I'm printing the self-portraits I have created as I go along with the idea that by the end of the year, I will have a really wonderful documentation not only of a year in my life, but also of the journey that I've taken in exploring a new medium. I'm pretty excited about the prospect of creating a body of work that is uniquely me.

"There is only one you for all time. Fearlessly be yourself."

~Anthony Rapp

Progress Report

 This is the state of my desk at this moment in time. I've been working on my sketchbook for The Sketchbook Project 2012. So far I've cut 11 pages and started figuring out what to do with them.

Here's a peek at the very beginnings of a few of those pages. I go through the bits on my desk and play with them on the pages and when I see something I like, I use a paper clip to pin the pieces on that page. I'll go back later and figure out in what order I am going to sew them down to the page. (It's all about the aesthetics, ya know!) I do this process while listening to music. It's very relaxing.

I'm kinda diggin' the wabi-sabi* of this process-I'm using fragments of art I've made in the past, the techniques I've learned in Mary Ann Moss' ROD class and images I shot in Vivienne McMaster's Wading In self-portrait class. I'm definitely getting my money's worth from the knowledge I've gained from those two classes. I think when you learn something new, you need to keep working at it, to ingrain it to your art practice or those skills will fall away over time. Good thing for me that I've become addicted to sewing paper and shooting self-portraits!

I just took a short break to write this and now I'm diving back in. I'll post a progress report again soon!

*Wabi-sabi is the quintessential Japanese aesthetic. It is a beauty of things imperfect, impermanent, and incomplete; of things modest and humble and unconventional.

Catching Up!

My last Petite Swap box arrived! Isn't this cool? It's was originally part of a box for a Parker Brothers Game of Palmistry. I've never see that before. Marlene knew I was into hand themed things so she hunted down some very cool goodies for me.

 See?! Things with the letter L, washi tape, hands, lots of red bits, silk ribbons and buddhas. Yummy!! Thanks Marlene! That was great fun!

 Meanwhile, I am still sick and struggling to find the energy to get back to work in the studio. Over the weekend, I had a bunch of the self portraits I've created printed. I had them done in 2 x 3 size, which was essentially a 4 x 6 with two prints of the same image on a single print. I just had to cut them apart. It was very inexpensive-66 photos for $7 and that included the tax.

I love this size-it's perfect for sewing into a ROD or doing a collage to frame. I've got 2 sets to work with, but I am torn about what I want to do with them. I'd like to make a book, but I kind of want to wait till the end of the year and have ALL the self portraits printed so I can have a year's worth in the book. Doesn't that sound cool? I mean how often do you get to have an entire year's worth of photos of yourself, taken of you BY you?! And artsy ones at that?

The other idea I am mulling over is also to have a giant frame with a black mat and to mount the images in grids. That would be so amazing on the wall. I don't think I would use all the photos, but pick the best of the bunch and mount those. Ikea has some pretty big frames that would work.

This is the stack I have to work with so far-it's 33 photos. I didn't print all of them-there were a few I missed accidentally, so I'll add them to the order for next time. Next time will be after July, when I've finished taking Light Hunters. I am sure I will have another tidy little stack by then. Who knew I would be so smitten with photography? Certainly not I!

I've also been writing like a mad woman for the new Someonelikeme.ca/Commemoi.ca  MS website and blog, which I told you about on Wednesday. I've been working on posts for my assignment there so I can stay ahead of the game. It's been good getting into the groove of serious wordsmithing again. Don't worry though-I won't be abandoning my blog. Would I do that to you? No way! This blog has been chugging along since August of 2004 and this post is number 1,270! That's alot of posts in almost 7 years! It's crazy to think that I started blogging in the dark ages, before most people were blogging, never mind artists!

Yes, I still have plenty to share, so I'm not going anywhere. Back with more soon!

Still Wading In

Los Zapatos

 I'm loving my new Rebel! It's an endless source of amusement and inspiration. I am continuing to shoot self portraits. I had some of the images I created over the least 5 months printed as 4 x 6's but I think I am going to have them reprinted as 2 x 3's and make either a book and/or frame them.

 Hand of the Buddha

It's kind of cool that by the end of the year I will have documented my 40th year in this way. I've never, ever had an entire year of photos of me, much less photos that really reflect who I am. It's kind of exciting!

I'm also excited about Vivienne's new class, Light Hunters which I signed up to take in July. It's the perfect opportunity to get to know my camera better before I take You Are Your Own Muse in the fall.

And of course, no photo post would be complete without one of my beloved Indy. This is what he does to tease me when we're playing ball-he hoards them. I'll walk up to try and get one and he'll put his head down to keep me from getting the one between his paws. Or he'll jump up with both of them in his mouth. If I ask him to, he'll drop them, so I can throw them.

The blue ones are his favourite-they are designed with holes in them so they make a whistling sound when you throw them and they bounce like crazy. Indy often just lies there chewing them like gum and no matter how hard he chews, they never get damaged. These are THE most durable balls for a Lab.

It's the May long weekend here in Canada. (Queen Victoria's Birthday on May 24th.) I'd hoped the weather would be better, but it's 6 a.m. and we're socked in with rain. (Oh joy!) I am hoping it clears up because we have plans that involve being outdoors. (And taking more photos!) If not, I guess we'll spend tomorrow at the movie theatre. Pirates anyone? This afternoon I'm off to have a CT scan. (Can't get enough of those self portraits!)

Photos & Light Hunters

 I have some more photos to share with you, taken on Mother's Day when I was at Granville Island with my son for a photo shoot.

One of the things I love about the market is that there are so many interesting things to photograph. There are all kinds of foods in intriguing colours and shapes. Take for example, these beauties. Up until I took this photo, I'd never seen them before. I guessed they were a fruit, but I had to do a little poking around on the internet to find out their name. They are called "mangosteens". There's some info about them and a photo of what the edible fruit inside looks like here. Of course now I am curious to know what they taste like, so next time I am at the market, I will buy one and give it a whirl.

I liked the little asterisk shape on the bottoms of the fruits, which you can see in the center right and the pretty aubergine colour.

 I like quirky signs. This one was on a rusted corrugated metal wall. The colour of the wall was interesting.

Behind the Kids Only Market, there is a small duck pond where lots of fuzzy goslings were paddling around. I spotted this feather snagged in the tall grass and liked how natural the colours were, so I snapped a quick pic.

The new camera is taking such crisp images. It's a real treat. Speaking of treats, Vivienne McMaster has a brand new class she's going to be running for the entire month of July called Light Hunters. It's about capturing the light in your photos. If you'd like to know more about it, click here.

I highly recommend her classes-if you want to know why, you can read my Muse interview here. You can also read what others have to say about them here. Go on-get inspired!

Experimenting

All images copyright of Lelainia Lloyd/Tattered Edge 2011 

Okay, let me just say that I am IN LOVE with my new camera! I am having so much fun fiddling with it to see what it can do. It's a very sexy piece of equipment and now I am wondering why I didn't upgrade sooner! I thought I would post a few pics I took yesterday.

I took this first one in a mirror and then flipped the image, so it's not backwards. I am especially pleased with the balance of focus and blur in this one. I love that effect!

 This one I took by setting the timer and asking the camera to shoot multiple images. It was like being in one of those photo booths where you get 4 quick shots. I just goofed around and then kept what I liked. I love the simplicity of my hands in this one, sans my wedding rings. The light makes this photo, I think.

 This one is all about the eyes. It's interesting the intensity green eyes have when you convert to black & white. I like taking unusual snippets of an image and working with them. Sometimes the most interesting part of a photo is not what you shot, but how you crop it.

 I played around a bit, shooting things in my studio. This is a rather large doll head I bought from the woman who lives across the street at her garage sale a couple summers ago. I love how she's cracked and chipped. (The doll, not the woman.)

 Just for fun, I shot this bulb of garlic that my husband hung up to dry outside our back door, some time ago. He forgot all about it because when I showed him this pic, he asked me where that was. *laughs* He passes it every time he comes in or out of the house. Guess he doesn't see it, which would explain why it's been hanging there for about a year and a half.

I shot this because I like the way the roots look and the colour is interesting. Clearly, the macro works just fine!

And last, but not least, here's my Indy. He always acts as if I am stealing his soul when I take photos of him. (Can ya tell by the look on his face?) He can be a hard dog to photograph, since he's both black and amazingly shiny, but the new camera does a fine job! That's pretty much my litmus test for a camera-whether or not I can get decent photos of my sweet boy.

The learning curve so far hasn't been that difficult. I'm digesting the instruction manual little by little. I tested out a new technique yesterday. In the manual it explains that if, for example, you are at the zoo, taking photos of animals behind bars, you can actually make the bars disappear. I decided to test it by shooting photos through my blinds and it works! It's pretty magical, really and I am so pleased that I now know how to do it.

I can't tell you how much fun I am having learning what I can do with a camera. I've never thought of myself as a photographer, but I am beginning to see that the skills I use in other areas of my artistic life translate into my photos. I'm finding it deeply satisfying to explore this medium. The beauty of it is that it's so accessible. I'm looking forward to the weekend shoot with my son.

The Magic Of Wading In

(Touch, a self portrait taken this week.)

This morning I am really pleased to share that I am the featured artist on Vivienne McMaster's Muse interview series. To read about my magical experience in her Wading In class, you may click here.

Feel free to comment there..or here...or both! *wink*

Would You Like To Wade In?

Hey gang, Vivienne McMaster who taught that wonderful online self portrait class I just took, Wading In is giving away a spot in her class!

I HIGHLY recommend her class. I learned so much! It's not about the techie stuff-it's about learning to see yourself in a different light and to open yourself up to the possibility that you can express yourself through photos. You do not need fancy equipment-I worked with a half-dead crappy SONY point and shoot and managed to get some incredible shots to work with. (One of them appears in the brand new header on my blog, another is the icon of me on my sidebar.) You also do not need to be some sort of expert photographer. All you need is to have an open mind and the willingness to explore the possibilities. I promise you, you will surprise yourself.

If you want to see more images I created in class, just visit my Flickr (the link's right there on the sidebar) and click on the Wading In set.

So what are you waiting for? Go enter! Click here.

For added inspiration, Vivienne is also featuring interviews with past participants of Wading In and You Are Your Own Muse. You can read the first one she's posted here. She starts with an introduction and then at the bottom you will see the names, which you click on to read that person's interview. Names will be added as more interviews are posted. I'd bookmark it if I were you-there's going to be lots of wonderful sharing happening there!

Birthday Love

 So..to the birthday girl go the spoils! Seriously, my friends spoiled me rotten showered me with love and it's not over yet. Traditionally, my birthday lasts about a month. When my husband and I first got married, he couldn't believe how much mileage I got out of my birthday. Now he just thinks it's funny.

The fact that the celebration lasts so long mainly has to do with the fact that my nearest and dearest friends are scattered all over the place-not all of them are local and so birthday goodness comes in the mail and by phone and often everyone's so busy that plans are made for several get-togethers. I am very blessed that way. As I've said before, I have THE BEST friends in the world.

My pal Penelope sent me a gift in the mail. Inside the envelope was a sweet little card that read "I thought to myself "What would Lelainia like? Lelainia would like to choose." and attached was a gift certificate for Regional Assembly of Text, a local store. I love everything in it, so it wasn't hard to choose. I picked this set of Cavallini stamps, Vintage Office that I'd be coveting for some time. I am a sucker for office themed stuff. I love it all and the telephone is so cool. I know I will use this set ALOT!

 I also spotted this paper that was office themed and picked it up. It will find its way into an ROD. This was made in the shop-they do their own designs. You can't tell by this photo but it's a deep vintage gold paper. (The light is bad in the studio today.)

 This was another paper that was calling my name. Penn gave me some fabulous scissor fabric for Xmas, which you've seen in a previous post. I love old scissors-I've actually begun a collection. This paper will also become ROD fodder. THANK YOU Penn for such a sweet and generous gift. It so much fun shopping with gift certificates for art supplies. Very happy-making indeed!

 I picked these up in my travels yesterday too. I've seen them online and finally happened across them. They are quite wet, but as they dry, they have a 3D effect to them, in that the ink is slightly raised. Not entirely sold on them just yet, but maybe if I play with them a bit. I hate waiting for stuff to dry and I didn't know these were so juicy. What made me want them is the colours. They remind me of gelato and are supposed to be really good on black paper. Now I just need to find some black paper! You used to see pads of it everywhere. Now, not so much.

 Friends in NY sent me a birthday card (that made me cry-they said the sweetest things to me. I love them so.) and a cheque. I spent part of it on a few goodies this morning. I had to go to get a re-inker I'd ordered from a scrapbooking store and while there found some odds and ends I "needed". I love this flower shape. Kind of like a pomegranate, but don't quote me on that. Whatever it is, I like it. I bought a stamp awhile ago that is the same flower.

 And then of course, I spotted this ephemera pack and if the labelling didn't entice me, the little bits inside did. Yummy! It's from House of 3/ PinkPaisley.

Lastly, there was paper that I couldn't go home without. (I'm sharing just a small sampling-I am such a paper junkie.) This one had a fabulous selection of bits that I can fussy cut and add to my RODs. How could I resist? This line of paper is by House of Three. (Who have a very cool chair as their logo-gotta love that!) Click the link-they have a really fabulous website full of amazing art fodder.

I don't know how long they've been around, but their products are new here in BC. I'm giving them a big thumbs up! I will definitely be on the lookout for more of their stuff! (Or purchasing it online, 'cause that works too!)

 

 The next three are by a company called Simple Stories. They have some great digital freebies on their blog so be sure and check them out. I got this sheet because I loved the camera. I have plans for it!

 Same with this one-cool numbers. I love numbers and alphabets. It's ridiculous how I collect them. I have a whole drawer full, though I can honestly say that I do use them-I'm not just into the collecting.

 More fabulous little bits. I love the colours in these. 

You know, as I was shopping today, I was thinking about how 8 years ago, I was trying desperately to encourage my local scrapbooking stores to lean even just a little bit towards mixed media and no one wanted to hear it. Now when I go in, there's a tons of mixed media worthy products available. Do you know that a shop owner once told me that 7 Gypsies stuff would never sell? That's insane!

At that time, I was teaching mixed media classes freelance and occasionally I would do workshops at one of these stores. The classes always filled up. Why the owners never got on board, I'll never know. It's kinda of sad-I was ahead of the curve here in Canada (BC) and everyone thought I was nuts. I used to have 5 scrapbook stores within 10 minutes of my house. Now the closest one is 20 minutes away and the other, 1/2 hour away. All the local ones are long gone.

I don't think it's a sign of the times so much as an inability to read the market and respond to it. You have to keep a creative based business moving and growing. People who are crafty or artistic thrive on learning and growing their skills and you need to have something new to offer them. Once you build a following, you can't just keep doing the same thing over and over and expect them to keep coming back. There has to be an evolution of products and classes to keep things fresh and engaging.

In any case, I digress. The point is, I am thrilled that these delightful companies are finding their way into the store I frequent. It's wonderful to see all the cool papers and goodies they're coming out with. I came away feeling really inspired to get busy in the studio, something that's been lacking the last month and a half since I've been so sick. I can't wait to dig in and play with what I purchased today.

Oh and one last artsy thing-Penn also gifted me with these Washi tapes. If you're local, Loomis De Serres is carrying them and they're on sale at the moment for $3/roll. After the sale, they'll be $3.95 I believe. Hopefully these tapes are flying out the door so they'll stock more and continue to get new prints. Here's hopin'! (And thanks again Penn!)

The girls in my MS group gave me a gorgeous bouquet of yellow Gerberas and a card yesterday. It was very sweet of them and I have no idea how they knew that's one of my most fav flowers. (Freesia, Snapdragons and Sweet Peas are the other three. I love poppies too, but you can't pick those and bring them in the house. They are strictly outdoor flowers.)

My friend Karen gave me Water for Elephants, which I devoured in an afternoon. If you haven't read it, get thee to a library! It's so good and the author is Canadian and was born in Vancouver. I liked it so much I've already got 2 more of her novels in the to-read stack on my bedside table.

The rest of my friends who had dinner with me last weekend gifted me with cash to go towards my DSLR camera fund. It was the one thing I really wanted, so that's what they did. I haven't purchased a camera yet. I am still doing research because I want to be sure and get the one that will serve me best. The choices are endless and a bit overwhelming, but I'm in no rush. I'd rather take my time and get something that I will be happy with.

My son rushed into an upscale point and shoot just before the Olympic started and he's had major buyer's remorse. I've given it a try and while I am quite mechanically inclined and good with electronics of all kinds, I HATE his camera. It's not very user friendly and as I am setting up a shot, the lense closes and pinches my fingers every single time! It's enough to make you want to smash the heck out of it. (Which he's mentioned wanting to do as well!) It's worth it to do some research.

I hope to have it in hand by the end of April. That's my plan, so I can have the whole summer to get used to it and then in the fall I'm signing up for You Are Your Own Muse with the fabulous Vivienne McMaster. I learned so much in Wading In and I want to expand on that experience.

This birthday has been an embarrassment of riches, really. I am just so blessed by my peeps. I have the best friends in the world. I'm grateful for them every single day. They certainly know how to make a girl feel loved.

Okay, I am off to shape fresh bread dough into two pizzas for dinner tonight. There's nothing better than pizza made from scratch. MMM! Pizza and The Amazing Race. That's how I'm capping off this weekend. :)

**I'm not affiliated with any of these paper companies, but I sure wish I was!

More Self-Discovery

I am happily moving at my own pace through Vivienne's Wading In class. I thought I would share a few more self-portrait images I've created in the last week or so.

This one pleases me because, if you use your imagination just a little, it appears as if I'm standing on a topography map and the earth is moving. In truth, it's just me standing on the old, worn chippy paint landing at my front door.

This one I shot on Friday night. It was very dark and stormy and I liked the way the raindrops on the windshield were distorting things. I decided to enhance that distortion using colour.

I took this on on Sunday while standing inside my favourite sculpture on English Bay. I was playing with effects and liked this one for some reason. Someone asked me if those were my legs reflected in my sunglasses. *dies laughing* I am not Gumby! It's my arms in the black sleeves of my jacket, holding the camera out to get the photo. You can see my wrists sticking out and then my black gloves. Anyway, this was me not taking myself too seriously.

I don't know that I am necessarily brilliant at the whole photography thing, but part of the beauty of it is that I don't have to be. The whole point is to experiment and see what happens. I've sure learned alot in this class, by merit of seeing my classmates' work and getting their feedback on mine. I feel very lucky to have had this opportunity and that it's been such a positive and supportive working environment.

Message to Myself

Just a short post today because I am tired. I woke to the sound of Indy's deep growl at the foot of my bed (which is never a good thing) very early this morning. He was just doing his job (good dog!) but I hadn't planned to be awake so soon.

Anyway, continuing on with my hand self-portraits, here are two I worked on today. The first has just a snippet of my fingers, but it kind of shows my soul, really. My love for the beauty of this province is immense. Every single day, I get to look at mountains and trees and the ocean. You cannot live here without feeling a deep connection to nature. Any time I can be outside breathing in fresh air and hiking, with my husband and best dog in tow, that's what I'm doing.

That big starfish you can see is an souvenir from my last trip to Artfest in 2009. Penn and I were beach combing at the ferry landing when I spotted it. Normally, I prefer live creatures to remain alive, in their own habitat, but it was high up in the tide line and completely dried up. I've never seen one of this variety before-usually the starfish here are either thick fat purple ones or they are shaped like the sun and are deeply submerged. I figured finding this one was a gift and brought it home. It's been in my studio with the rest of my beachcombings ever since.

This one is about something someone once said to me. A friend, John Nunnah once wrote me a note on a scrap of paper that said

 "You were born to be a leader. You will surely be one."

I've kept that note for 22 years. It was one of the most meaningful things anyone has ever said to me and I am still awed that he felt moved to write it down. I carried those words in my heart all these years.

*****

Today has been a banner day. I got a phone call and email that was some very exciting news. I'll be sharing it here once it's a done deal, but it's really cool and was a lovely surprise. Actually, come to think of it, I've been showered with all manner of good things in the last week:

 Vivienne gifted me with her class, which you can see by my posts I am enjoying immensely. Thank you Viv!

Jeannette Janson had a give-away on her blog and I won second prize, which was a $10 gift certificate to spend in her Etsy shop. Thank you Jeanette!

 And then this mysterious phone call and email today that just put my happiness over the top. Thank you Mystery Caller!

Yes, I'd say that 2011 has been interesting so far. I love it when the new year starts off like this. Not unlike how 2010 started off, come to think of it. I'll take all the good kharma I can get!

The Work of My Hands

 Today I decided to focus my camera on my hands. My hands have become a big issue in my life because 3 years ago, I lost all the feeling in my hands. It was caused by the damage MS did to my spinal cord. I can now only sense hot, cold and pain and those sensations are blown way out of proportion. (A paper cut feels like I've chopped a finger off, touching something cold or hot hurts.)

 When I first lost the feeling in my hands, it was pretty scary. I was in the process of being diagnosed and so I didn't tell anyone, other than my close friends and family. It took a long time for my brain to adjust. I had to relearn how to do everything you do with your hands, on my own. It was very trying, struggling with even the simplest of tasks. I got frustrated alot and many times I thought I'd have to stop making art, the thought of which was just soul crushing.

If you put on a pair of oven mitts and then spend even an hour trying to go about your normal day, you'd have a small glimpse into what it feels like to live with no feeling in your hands. Try buttoning something or zipping a zipper, brushing your teeth or tying your shoe. Not so simple now, is it?

I feel a sense of awe at how the body trouble shoots the things it can't heal. After about a year, with alot of hard work and persistence, I managed to regain understanding between my brain and my hands. The communication between them is not the same anymore-instead of using a cellphone, they are using two tin cans and a string, but it works. It means I can sit here and type this post. It means I can make art. It might take me a little longer-somethings are still challenging, but I still get the job done.

When I think about my hands, I can't help but think of my Gramps. He suffered multiple strokes over my lifetime. He was a gifted carpenter and cabinet maker. He worked with his hands his whole life, even when he too was robbed of the feeling from neurological damage from the strokes and the effects of diabetes. I think about how hard it was for him and he never complained-he just quietly went about his business. He taught me everything  about resilience, grace and courage.

So that is why I have turned the lense towards my hands today. I wanted to honour how they serve me and in turn serve others in my life. They are powerful tools. The work they do is sacred and vital and I look at them with awe and respect.

The Real Gift

So further to yesterday's post, I wanted to talk some more about what I've learned in the last 24 hours of Vivienne McMaster's class, Wading In.

First of all, let me just say I am in love with the b&w setting on my camera. I think the nuances and quality of the light show better in b&w and there's less distraction for the eye. I tried sepia as well, but b&w won out.

I felt really good about the images I took on that setting. They seemed more artistic somehow. It's probably got alot to do with the lines feeling cleaner. There's nothing I love better than beautiful, clean lines. I notice them all the time, in architecture, in nature, in the profile of my gorgeous dog Indy...

I am also enjoying the exchange of ideas. A fellow student was talking about how when you are publishing, you're often asked to include a photo of yourself. I've always found that really challenging because I don't really have any that I like. Well, no more! I am grooving on the idea of having a selection of self portraits that I can choose from the next time I'm asked. I'll have some artsy images, created by ME, not just some lame run-of-the-mill, make-do headshot.

Like perhaps this? I did this this morning, in about 5 minutes. I'd say it would make a pretty cool bio pic. It says more about me than a regular everyday photo does. Being able to to shoot my own self portraits is really quite empowering. I'm seeing myself through a whole new lense.

That first photo I posted, The Blessing was a gift of light and experimentation. I love how the individual strands of my hair picked up the light and the angle I shot it at. It looked to me like the light was blessing me.

The real gift in this is how in a few short hours, in a handful of photos, I've begun to see myself differently. The filters are changing. I've been deeply angry with my body for such a very long time {which is part of the grieving process when you live with an incurable, life-altering disease} that I'd forgotten there was anything beautiful about it. Maybe as this process unfolds, I will become gentler with myself.

A Gift

I'm not sure how I've managed to be so lucky lately, but on Friday, I won the gift of an opportunity to take a self-portraiture class with Vancouver artist Vivienne McMaster through a give-away on life coach,  Kate Swaboda's website.

Vivienne's class, Wading In will be a good exercise for me to try being in front of the camera, instead of behind. I've never been someone who is comfortable posing for photos. I can remember hiding under a bed or locking myself in the bathroom when I was young because I hated it that much. I can't really say why, I just did. Perhaps it had something to do with feeling vulnerable. I'm not particularly good with that.

Anyway, I took some images that I am pleased with. This is one. It's amazing to me how I see my history in this image. I come from people who made their living with their hands.

This one delighted me when I realized the light had caught the tiny invisible hairs on my fingers. I am in love with the way the light and shadows create magic when I use the b&w setting. I love the clean lines. When you strip away colour, the eye focuses in a very crisp and definite way. This pleases me. I am all about the lines of things.

I made this using an image I shot of myself in the mirror today. ONE DAY in this class, squeezed into the space between dealing with stressful medical stuff and cooking dinner and this is what I managed to do. I haven't felt such a happy sense of wonder about something I've created in some time. While I take photos all the time, I've never done it with a sense of purpose like this. I've never gotten behind the lense to put myself in front of the lense before. I always feel my spirit light up when I am learning something new and I'm already seeing myself in a different light.

I think it's always good to edge out of your comfort zone. Vivienne's grabbed my hand and pulled me gently to the water's edge and I'm Wading In!
If you'd like to test the waters too, registration for this class closes later tonight, so hurry!